I Guess

Life is such funny prankster sometimes, don't you think?
"I'ts not funny, it's sick' kind of funny prankster
Do you even know what I'm saying right now?
Because I don't even understand it myself
I'm all by myself in this room
Trying desperately to rearrange the jumbled words in my head
Right now I'm just typing,
letting the words flow
And I know sometimes the words in my brain don't make sense

I guess that's just how my brain works sometimes

Do you ever feel like you want to do something
Like, you want to change,
or actually start doing something good
And for the first time,
life shows you the way?
The right way, the right path, the right direction
With the right signs, the right arrows,
and just exactly the right amount of light for you to stare what's ahead you
And you're filled with glee, with excitement
And you think, "Oh I'm so going to do this."

And you do
Or at least you try
And then you try to walk on that way life has shown you
Following the right directions
Choosing the right path
Carefully watching for another sign
Obeying arrow by arrow
Never once look back and think, "Why the hell am I doing this?"
Because it's working, it's perfectly working out the way you've always wanted
Because the lights allow you to see what's in front of you
And what lays there is just exactly what you want

You stretch your arms, long enough to feel it with the tips of your fingers
You get excited as much as you get nervous
So you start running towards it
And as you're just a step away
Suddenly the lights go out
and you're surrounded by darkness
You can even feel the path changes direction
You scream, "What is going on? It's there! It's damn near!"
And it is,
that's why life changes your path
And you're left there, lost in the darkness, not knowing what to do
Because the arrows already left
The signs were already gone
The path already changed direction
The lights already ran out of power
And you bitterly think, "Wow, what a great joke you played on me, life. Well played."
And you feel like life answers you,
"I know, I'm a funny prankster."
And the darkness around you echoes its laughter

I feel like that sometimes
When I feel like I've been doing good but then it all fails
When I think I've been walking but then I fall
When I've been feeling good but then what seems like the worst feeling comes
But that's just how life is sometimes
That's just how I am sometimes
Well, I guess