a friend of mine gave me a piece of white paper and a blue pen with blue ink
He asked me to write down the pick up line on that paper
I laughed, and of course, told him to write it himself,
but he insisted
So I looked at him funnily and wrote it down
We ended up playing a bit with the pen's cap
Like little 5 year old kids on a playground
After he pocketed the pen's cap,
our little silly game was done,
and he asked me to write him a poem
Still holding the paper and the pen,
I asked him what he wanted it about
He told me he wanted it about loving someone whom you couldn't have from afar.
I nodded, thinking of what to write and I noticed that he was silent
I looked up at him, and he said, "It's kind of my story."
So I told him to go ahead tell me his story
And then he started telling me how he was in love with a girl he couldn't have
How he only got to adore her from afar
I started scribbling words on the crumpled paper he gave me
But it just wasn't enough, I needed to know more to write more
So I set down the pen and asked him to tell me his whole story
He did
He told me he was in love with a girl but he couldn't have her because he was already in a relationship
I told him about a quote from Johnny Depp I heard many years ago
'If you love two people at the same time, choose the second. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn't have fallen for the second.'
And he said it was right. He said I was right.
Confused, I asked him, "So why don't you do it?"
He answered me with, "My best friend is in love with her too."
I went silent
He continued, "Maybe you've read it somewhere about how 'if you love someone that doesn't mean you have to be with them, you have to let them be happy with someone else' right? But this, if that someone, even if it's your bestfriend, can't make them happy, you're just gonna regret it."
He was right. I never thought of it, but he was right.
We were silent for a moment
Then I said that he should break up with his girlfriend because he was hurting her without her even knowing
But he said, "If I broke up with her, that'd mean I gave this other girl a hope. A hope that would only be seen as a false hope when it really wasn't"
Well damn, I thought, he had thought about this all.
I didn't know what to say
So I just grabbed the pen and the crumpled paper,
and murmured, "I don't think I can finish this poem today."
He gave a lazy smile and folded the crumpled paper into two,
and said, "I didn't expect you to finish this today."
He took the blue pen from my hand and stupidly asked me where the cap was
I gave a short laugh and told him he had pocketed it
He laughed too,
and it was laughter between us again
We parted ways then
On my way home I thought about our conversation,
and some things crossed my mind
Why didn't I convince him to break up with his girlfriend?
After all, it's better to hurt one person than two
Why didn't I convince him to tell that girl he loved her?
After all, it's better to take a chance than to live in regret
'Best friends are more important' people say
But, if your best friend can't make the one you love happy,
why don't just try it yourself?
I could've told him to tell her that he loved her,
and the reasons why he couldn't be with her
So why didn't I?
After all, sometimes we've got to take a risk to finally stop ourselves from hurting too much
I frowned
Why didn't I tell him those things?
Why did I act all 'do what you want to do, I want the best for you'?
After all, what we want to do isn't always exactly the best for us
I still hope he'll get that one girl he actually loves
Love indeed is like a comedian with a twisted sense of humor
And you're just that one audience who knows nothing of what's going on
So you just sit and watch
And pretend like you're following the jokes
When inside, you ask yourself,
"What the hell is so funny? Why is everyone laughing?"
But you're already in the building
And the exit door is just too far away
And you already feel tired anyway
Because your mind keeps trying to understand the joke
So you stay, even though you understand nothing
But I believe, if you stay,
If you just stay in that building
Someone will come up to you smiling,
and explain you the joke you don't understand
And when you finally understand,
you will laugh with that someone at the joke you've been questioning
And maybe you two will talk about other things besides the joke
"Well, it's kind of my story."
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